Waiting in Pain
I dont think this pain will ever go away. How do you choose between being heartbroken or being heartbroken? All i can think about is him and how i want to be with him and it feels like theres noone there for me, well theres a few. but noone can help to soothe this pain iv never felt before in my life. And theres nothing i can do to to soothe his pain i know must be worse than mine. i cant even stand thinking about him in that much pain.
But what do i do, where do i go from here? when will i get my motivation back? when will i get him back? Some say this happened because it was meant to, some say i should move on. but i cant. i couldnt leave him at a time like this. i couldnt be with someone else i know i would just be thinking of him. and even if i was with someone else i would always write him. but two years is so long why does this have to be happening to me? noone knows what kind of pain im in they dont understand. theyve never had to feel it or go thru anything like this. So it feels like noone cares but its not theyre fault. its mine i have to deal with this iv never had to deal with things alone. being alone is the worst thing in my life and its the only thing in my life right now. Thank god for my few friends who are really there for me when i need them. without them i dont know what would happen to me i feel like id whither away and die.
His letter today crushed my heart into powder. He said i should move on but i know how much that would hurt him and theres no way i could do that. how could i live with myself? i couldnt. i have to wait for him. i feel like its right. like its what i should do but fuckkkkkk me im so damn lonely i dont know what to do with myself. so here i am writing to nooone. maybe someone will read this and have some advice? How long would u wait for your man if u had only been together a year? How long would you wait?????????????????